Scribblings of a Kraken Slayer

Just writing and scribbling what falls out of my head.

The Clouds Better Hope They’ve Killed Me Dead.

There’s something about the ocean that makes me feel at home,

But I still can’t swim and I feel so alone.

I’ve lost my anchor because I begged for it to stay,

Even though I’m not religious I collapse and pray;

That someday I’ll find stable ground on the waves,

To store on the only USB I have that saves.

But It can’t save me, it can’t save me now.

If anything could save me, It’d still wonder how.

Month by month and year by year,

I wonder if I’m wasting my time here.

Because I don’t get better, I just fall asleep.

Never utter a sentence, not even a peep.

And when the sky falls down, on top of my head,

The clouds better hope they’ve killed me dead.

Every time I wake I feel a little less better,

Every time my eyes feel a little less wetter.

Every single dream I had; enveloped in fog,

Just gonna sit here like a bump on a log.

Searching for clarity in a blurred city,

Hope you find my comeback somewhat witty.

Riding into town on a Titan’s shoulder,

Can’t feel my heart because it’s a boulder.

I want to improve, I sincerely do.

But all I have in common with the ocean is it’s hue.

Because I don’t get better, I just fall asleep.

Never utter a sentence, not even a peep. 

And when the sky falls down, on top of my head,

The clouds better hope they’ve killed me dead.

Because I’m coming back home on my own,

Prepared to reap what I’ve sown.

Losing hours in each passing day,

seems to be the only way.

So let me get better, I just want to sleep.

I’ll write you a poem; honest and deep.

But the truth be told, I think It’s all in my head,

So the clouds better hope they’ve killed me dead.

Fiú Féin.

There’s a reason it’s so hard to believe that I’m worth the time.

There’s a reason I can refuse to believe I’m just ‘oh so sublime’.

There’s a damn reason why I can’t open up so easily anymore.

And it’s those damn reasons specifically that I absolutely abhor.

I’m sick of hearing that I need to ’ just get more self esteem’.

When disapproval was almost encoded into my bloodstream.

I’m tired of hearing how I shouldn’t be so self critical all the time,

When I heard for years how stupid and worthless I was in chime.

I’m trying to improve and eventually make gradual progress.

Though, it doesn’t help when I’m lashed for lack of finesse.

I know I’m nothing extraordinary, so pardon my disbelief.

I don’t take kindly to deception, no matter how brief.

Only in time will I have the chance to improve myself,

Alas, there’s never enough time in stock on the shelf.

They’re not Even Grey.

What is this and why is it so damn foreign?

This flood of anxiety that leaves me trembling.

What is this that has me burning up inside?

The concentrated napalm that fills my skull.

The four horsemen circle the room as one.

I tap both of my legs instead of just the right.

My thumb wears down the brass sunlight.

Every fiber of my soul is screaming “Why?”

Not even my mind knows the answer to that.

Should it? Is this something I should know of?

Or is this far beyond my own comprehension?

Perhaps I don’t speak the language fluently enough.

Perhaps I should try to learn from the fiery restlessness.

Though how can I learn when I can’t even begin to understand?

I can use a map and a compass all I like, I’ll still be wandering.

Wandering, and wondering what the Hell is really going on.

Searching for the answer to this unexplainable feeling.

I just want to know, I just want to understand.

I just need to comprehend the pressure.

To fathom the nearing condensation on these windows.

The clouds aren’t even grey this time of night.

To grasp the rhythm of the train as it passes.

I want to go home, but where is home?

I’d Like to Sail Away.

I’d head off to the tavern and hire a crew,

Sail the seven seas just to understand you.

Whether it’s port-side or starboard, I’m wrong.

I’m not entirely sure anymore, where I belong.

Though I do know I can’t sail the hungry sea,

If I’ve left my soul on land, how broken to be.

These waters may seem dangerous and cruel,

But a shanty and elixir act as the primary fuel.

At least, enough to get us away from the Kraken,

Home-bound this time, with no chance of slackin’.

The crew and I are on our own, together here.

Despite the monsoon and inevitability of fear. 

I’d plan on returning better with the ropes in coils.

Instead of those old cliche, golden nautical spoils.

Here’s to wishin’ for the warm rains ahead of us,

Conditional winds to guide ours with minimal fuss.

Courageous Hounds Incite Love Indefinitely

It’s been five whole months since I last heard your voice.
I still wear your brass name pressed tight on my chest.
I know it’s not like you really had to make a choice,
But every single day I wish you the absolute best.
Those terrifying images still flash by in my mind.
It’s gotten so difficult without you to guard me.
I try my best now and then to try to unwind,
But it’s no use with such a fragile memory.
I will always cherish the moments we shared.
Though I’ll always wish we had more to make.
The everlasting dance to laughter, teeth bared.
You taught me well, enough wisdom to fill a lake.
I wish I could lay with you in the sunlight once more.
Synchronized breathing with hearts beating like a chord.
I miss the carefree days of our youth, I felt like I could soar.
A time that I could be your shield, and you be my sword.
I know that it wasn’t either of our decisions to make,
It was unfortunately times turn to seek a choice.
Sometimes I dream you’re here, for my sake.
Though it’s hard, for you, I’ll try to rejoice.
Here’s to our everlasting friendship and bond,
To all the good times we managed to take home.
Here’s to the playful personas we both had donned.
Because together in heart and soul we will forever roam.

I Love you. I miss you.

Tuirseach.

There’s something about these dreams,

That leave me splitting at my seams. 

Maybe it’s how easily they fade away,

Or how drained I seem from day to day.

Maybe I just don’t know what’s going on,

Maybe I should try to see what I can pawn.

I’m not sure about these travels anymore. 

I’m not sure how much I can really abhor.

So much crashing in such a short time,

Not a single moment to note the sublime.

It’s all too much for the moment to bear,

Though the moment’s mine and fair is fair.

What’s an anchor in reality without a ship?

I’m not entirely sure but I’m starting to slip.

I feel myself float as the cannons are fired.

Regardless of it all I remain so very tired.

DILLIGAF

"I’ll write to you soon, I promise." 

Even in a foreign tongue, I knew what it meant.

Each word. Every last letter. They weaved a web of silence.

I think it was easier to understand because it was familiar.

Something I was painstakingly used to translating.

I didn’t have to translate though, not anymore.

The air since then has become riddled.

Infected with joy and uncertainty.

Chaos; if I’d ever seen it.

The streets seemed emptier.

The skies seemed just a tad dull.

The winds were just a bit more frosty.

Though, it wasn’t really anything I couldn’t handle.

It was almost like a nostalgic gloom had been veiled over.

Oddly enough, I figured things would pan out pretty smoothly.

Oh, how I couldn’t have been more wrong about that one.

Mountains would’ve been jealous of that rocky terrain.

I’ve managed a pretty positive outlook on it all, though.

Life has hurdles so you can learn to jump more efficiently. 

At least, that’s what I’d lead myself to believe anyway.

Figured it was a logical and rational conclusion.

You exercise a weak muscle to build more.

I suppose I’m still leading myself to believe that.

Who’s to say that’s a legitimate strategy or not?

It’s worked so far, for the most part, I suppose.

A ship at sea has to continue sailing to port, right?

These waves have been calmly raging for months.

Although there’s a safe sense of contentedness…

Things have never been so utterly unpredictable.

I wish I could just toss the anchor and scream “DILLIGAF?!”

Undoubtedly the answer never changes.

Of course I do. Of course I do. 

Колосс

I’ve been sitting here on this bench for awhile now,

Gazing off into the streetlights while wondering how.

How am I to come to the conclusion of this riddle,

When in this universe I am so insignificant and little?

Soon after approaches the looming behemoth,

Too large to navigate well even with azimuth.

I reach back to draw my blade, but I’m halted.

For this beast I’ve found to be far too exalted.

Undamaged by blade, arrow, and time itself.

It’s gained such a power from the bookshelf.

A bookshelf hidden among the fog and seas.

Though I digress, it lowers creating a breeze.

Our eyes meet, cold as stone after the storm.

My thoughts run rampant, I yearn to be warm.

Nestling into my coat, an answer is expected.

I mutter non-sense hoping to be corrected.

Unfortunately the colossus didn’t see fit,

Swallowing me up into darkness bit by bit.

I then draw my blade and slash left and right,

I’ll be damned if I fall to darkness without a fight.

I can feel myself slipping as guttural words form,

Static envelops all as little spots of light swarm.

I burst back to life on the grass, nothing changed.

Gazing up at the stars, I wonder if I’m deranged.

My blade is gone, though the bench still stands.

Was it all just another dream without commands?

I sit myself up and dust off the morning dew,

Pondering once more until the sky turns blue.

Почемучка

I don’t think I’ve ever been so pensive in my entire life.

I’ve faced behemoths; nothing had prepared me for this.

I’ve not found myself one to complain about all the strife,

But the more reality beats me I realize fantasy was bliss.

Lately I’ve been reflecting more than a mirror in the sea.

Despair in a shaky voice, unsure of where I ‘ought to be.

The stars still comfort me, but not like they had before.

These streets have become rugged, so hard to explore.

The steady Summer air is tranquil, but temporarily so.

For the wind is just around the corner, ready to blow.

No matter how the wind shifts, It’s always unpredictable.

The currents are too strong at this point, no sailing home.

Sometimes it feels like I’m so lost It’s almost despicable.

Just hold me once more; show me for what I need to atone.

Pensively Strolling

Lately I’ve been walking with the leaves.

I’ve seen things you’d never believe.

Though I may be a simple Rain Dog,

I tend to see better in the dense fog.

My heartbeat monitor has been flat for weeks.

Why are my bones so full of cracks and creaks?

I am but a simple young and pensive man,

In a room with a single window and fan.

I haven’t seen the stars that much lately.

I’ve missed the somber tones so greatly.

Although the stars don’t twinkle as before,

I’d still like to watch them together, I implore.

My only escape is a language rich ocean,

My ship is that of an occasional potion.

Elixirs and pens can only reveal so much,

Real stories are told with a heartfelt touch.